hard work starts to payoff

i have been working on a few projects and yesterday i started seeing good things coming from it. i feel so happy i could burst. i feel so alive and like i have so much to do and live for. lol dont get me wrong i have always had something to live for but yesterday i was given a glimpse into forever and i liked what i saw. i am truly and utterly happy right this moment. i know there will be boulders and stumbling blocks ahead of me but i know that i can do anything i put my mind to. i know what i want in life and i am going for it. and to anyone who thinks that they cant do something let me tell u from personal experience it will be a hard road. harder then you could ever imagine but if it is worth it, you can do it. you can overcome anything if you are willing to work on it. and it is a good thing that my mom gave me a good work ethic because it made me look at my life, see what i needed to change, and change it. no matter what the cost of changing my life it was worth it. and i thank my mom for being with me every step of the way even when she did not know it and was on the other side of the world from me. when i think of the kind of woman i want to be she is the woman i picture. she is the strongest, most spiritual, and most unwavering person that i know. i know she was not born perfect. but she has worked to become the best person she can be. she has gone through hellish moments in life and come out from them with her head held high and never given up. she is my hero and i love her. she is the person i strive to be more like. i know we should strive to be like god but i dont think i am ready for that. i dont think i am ready to place the bar at perfection i know that i will make a mistake and then i will give up on that goal and if i give up on that goal i will give up on all of them and be back to doing things to make me forget. so my goal is to be more like mom. the closest person i know to being god like. i know it sounds odd but i look at it this way she has made mistakes in her life and come out better for them. when i think of her i think of a pic that i once drew. a woman in a mask and cape. her cape had been torn and restitched. there was dirt and mud on it. she had blood on her mask and knuckles. she was not perfect but she was doing what she could for those who could not do for themselves. i never showed it to anyone. after i finished it i tucked it away somewhere and lost it. but i think about it often when i think about my mom. she is my super hero and i hope that someday i can be as good and as kind as she is. that is my quest. not perfection but the closest thing i have ever found.

i dont strive to change the world. i just strive to change the lives of the people around me for the better. maybe someday, if everyone does the small things, the world will be a better place for all of us. - megan hawkins