GGGGRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bad gggrrrr not happy gggrrrrr. i hat dealing with selfish people. i hate it. it is like they have no idea that the rest of us are out here being trampled by them. GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!
sorry for the ranting but i am doing a favor for a family member which involves a person that just drives me up a wall. plus they are one of the most self-centered people that i know. yesterday i took this person shopping with me...(i had a few but this one turned it into an all about them day... anyways) this person got made at me for wanting to go do something with the other person that was with us. they said that i promised their mom that i would take care of them (oh and FYI this person is 23 years old.) well in the middle of yelling at me about it this person grabbed my arm. hard and would not let go. then after spending 4 hours on this one person i spent 3mins... i know because the 3rd person had checked their phone.... so i spent 3mins on me and was paying for the christmas gift i had chosen when the selfish person stomped upto me demanded who i was getting the item for after i told them it was for pj this person got mad and started yelling at me that they had to leave and then tried for bully me out of the store and even grabbed my arm for a moment to drag me out of the store. the sales lady (god bless her!) quickly finished with my idem and handed it to me. (i could have kissed her.) to say i was mad is an under statement. but brandi was a life saver. i went shopping with her after and she was bubbly and happy and we shopped for christmas decorations. anyways that is life right?

just breath

it has been hard the last few days not hearing from ripu. i miss him so much and everyone around me laughs and jokes about him probably not coming or him not showing up. i smile and try to laugh it off but the truth is that it hurts. i have a hard enough time dealing with my own head but when they add to my trust issues i feel like running and hiding. not in the figurative sense, but the they just keep pushing and i look at airplane tickets to anywhere. but then he calls and all the bullshit washes away. all the hurt and pain of my day is gone and i am left with peace, lol even if pj and i are fighting.

i am a better person with pj. he pushes me to be better, and i push him to follow his dreams.


oh P.S. i feel like i am getting closer to the person that i want to be. i have come so far. (i know that i have a long way to go, but i am so proud of me... :)