just breath

it has been hard the last few days not hearing from ripu. i miss him so much and everyone around me laughs and jokes about him probably not coming or him not showing up. i smile and try to laugh it off but the truth is that it hurts. i have a hard enough time dealing with my own head but when they add to my trust issues i feel like running and hiding. not in the figurative sense, but the they just keep pushing and i look at airplane tickets to anywhere. but then he calls and all the bullshit washes away. all the hurt and pain of my day is gone and i am left with peace, lol even if pj and i are fighting.

i am a better person with pj. he pushes me to be better, and i push him to follow his dreams.


oh P.S. i feel like i am getting closer to the person that i want to be. i have come so far. (i know that i have a long way to go, but i am so proud of me... :)

workin hard at lovin myself as myself

so i am hear visiting mom and the family. i am having fun and i have to say it is nice to have mom and dad and my American family around me. i have missed them. lol but now i miss my mama and papa and my family in India. but i am doing school work and trying to rest and help mom with what she needs done. i love it. but i can not wait to get to work. i need money and i need to see pj. i miss him, but i know that he is workin hard in school. but thats what i have been upto.... oh i got a new book it is done by Dan Brown. the name of it is "The Lost Symbol". i think that it will be good. i can not wait to read it. well i am off to start my first chapter......

Counting down the days

Well i have today and tomorrow left to be here. then i head to pinky pu-ji's house for a few days then i get on a plane and go to mom and dad's. i wish i could stay because i know i will miss mama and papa but i also cant wait to go to see mom and dad and everyone in washington that i have missed while here. i know that is sounds silly but thats how it is.

oh i started school the other day. i like my classes. it is going good. well i have to run.

This is Xander. He looks alot like his dad. He is happy and healthy. i cant wait to see him.

A PROUD AUNT AGAIN!!!!

I am happy to anounce that I am a an Aunt again... :) Levi and Jen had their baby! I am so happy for them. and Xander Wesley is so cute. he is healths and his parents are very happy. i cant wait to see him. i have been packing and getting ready for my trip to go see my mom and family in Washington U.S.A. i have missed my mommy. She is so much one of my biggest strengths. and another one of my strengths (Ripu) said he will be at my moms before me so i am excited about that. I miss him. lol I am so much in love with him. He makes me so happy. ok well i have to go pack some more so see ya all later.

a moment in my life

i close my eyes,
i can feel your breath on my bare neck.
your moist lips gently brush my lips,
your kiss is meek and gentle,
my skin tingles under your touch.
you pull me closer now,
i can feel the need and urgency in your kiss,
your fingers are tangled in my hair.
finally our lips part,
we are both out of breath.
my eyes flutter open,
and you are there.

SATISFIED

Today Pj was excepted into med school. He is so excited. I am so proud of him. He has worked so hard for this. I can't wait. He is taking me with him. I feel so happy. I feel like our lives are finally back on track. Pj is in med school, I'm in school, we are together mind body and spirit. and I am loyal to him. I am keeping all my promises that i made to myself on my birthday. I feel so clean and it finally feels like things are going right in my life, in our lives. I can again see the house we build together and making it into our home with little things. Then grow happily old together in rockers on the porch. right now i feel satisfied with my life. I feel like, like well Satisfied is the only word that i can think of....i am satisfied.