GGGGRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bad gggrrrr not happy gggrrrrr. i hat dealing with selfish people. i hate it. it is like they have no idea that the rest of us are out here being trampled by them. GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!
sorry for the ranting but i am doing a favor for a family member which involves a person that just drives me up a wall. plus they are one of the most self-centered people that i know. yesterday i took this person shopping with me...(i had a few but this one turned it into an all about them day... anyways) this person got made at me for wanting to go do something with the other person that was with us. they said that i promised their mom that i would take care of them (oh and FYI this person is 23 years old.) well in the middle of yelling at me about it this person grabbed my arm. hard and would not let go. then after spending 4 hours on this one person i spent 3mins... i know because the 3rd person had checked their phone.... so i spent 3mins on me and was paying for the christmas gift i had chosen when the selfish person stomped upto me demanded who i was getting the item for after i told them it was for pj this person got mad and started yelling at me that they had to leave and then tried for bully me out of the store and even grabbed my arm for a moment to drag me out of the store. the sales lady (god bless her!) quickly finished with my idem and handed it to me. (i could have kissed her.) to say i was mad is an under statement. but brandi was a life saver. i went shopping with her after and she was bubbly and happy and we shopped for christmas decorations. anyways that is life right?

just breath

it has been hard the last few days not hearing from ripu. i miss him so much and everyone around me laughs and jokes about him probably not coming or him not showing up. i smile and try to laugh it off but the truth is that it hurts. i have a hard enough time dealing with my own head but when they add to my trust issues i feel like running and hiding. not in the figurative sense, but the they just keep pushing and i look at airplane tickets to anywhere. but then he calls and all the bullshit washes away. all the hurt and pain of my day is gone and i am left with peace, lol even if pj and i are fighting.

i am a better person with pj. he pushes me to be better, and i push him to follow his dreams.


oh P.S. i feel like i am getting closer to the person that i want to be. i have come so far. (i know that i have a long way to go, but i am so proud of me... :)

workin hard at lovin myself as myself

so i am hear visiting mom and the family. i am having fun and i have to say it is nice to have mom and dad and my American family around me. i have missed them. lol but now i miss my mama and papa and my family in India. but i am doing school work and trying to rest and help mom with what she needs done. i love it. but i can not wait to get to work. i need money and i need to see pj. i miss him, but i know that he is workin hard in school. but thats what i have been upto.... oh i got a new book it is done by Dan Brown. the name of it is "The Lost Symbol". i think that it will be good. i can not wait to read it. well i am off to start my first chapter......

Counting down the days

Well i have today and tomorrow left to be here. then i head to pinky pu-ji's house for a few days then i get on a plane and go to mom and dad's. i wish i could stay because i know i will miss mama and papa but i also cant wait to go to see mom and dad and everyone in washington that i have missed while here. i know that is sounds silly but thats how it is.

oh i started school the other day. i like my classes. it is going good. well i have to run.

This is Xander. He looks alot like his dad. He is happy and healthy. i cant wait to see him.

A PROUD AUNT AGAIN!!!!

I am happy to anounce that I am a an Aunt again... :) Levi and Jen had their baby! I am so happy for them. and Xander Wesley is so cute. he is healths and his parents are very happy. i cant wait to see him. i have been packing and getting ready for my trip to go see my mom and family in Washington U.S.A. i have missed my mommy. She is so much one of my biggest strengths. and another one of my strengths (Ripu) said he will be at my moms before me so i am excited about that. I miss him. lol I am so much in love with him. He makes me so happy. ok well i have to go pack some more so see ya all later.

a moment in my life

i close my eyes,
i can feel your breath on my bare neck.
your moist lips gently brush my lips,
your kiss is meek and gentle,
my skin tingles under your touch.
you pull me closer now,
i can feel the need and urgency in your kiss,
your fingers are tangled in my hair.
finally our lips part,
we are both out of breath.
my eyes flutter open,
and you are there.